you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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