I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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