I just pynch a tree in the face
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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