I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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