he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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