Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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