I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
