My friends, they love my intelligence
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
