Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
