dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He did a backflip because drugs
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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