I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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