just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
