yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
