I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
