Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
