i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
