I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
