i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
