is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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