How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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