those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
