Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
