So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
