woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
