Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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