I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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