Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
