Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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