There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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