I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
