I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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