we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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