I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
