you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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