In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I looked at my own cervix.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
