Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
