so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
