Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
