You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
party gras won. party gras always wins.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
