Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
