After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
