Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I want a musical about memes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
