I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
