I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The convent might be a nice break from real life
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
