apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dicks are not precious.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
