I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
