For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
