Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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