Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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