he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
