In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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